Monday, November 22, 2021

One Year Gone

It has been a tough year during the year plus I've been gone.  A year ago this past Saturday, we lost my mom.  The night after we buried her, my dad went to sleep and never woke up.  I'm the oldest of their 3 children and have been busy taking care of their estate and grieving.  Trying to find a new normal without them.  This photo was taken on their 50th anniversary.  They were married for 61 years.  The boys are my children and the girls are my brothers.

Early this year, I received a note and a chart from Carol of Stitching Dreams.  You see, she lost her mother too in 2020.  A friend, Ginger, had sent her this chart to stitch in memory of her mother.  Ginger had also lost her mother and had stitched this chart in memory of her mother.  And now it was my turn.  You can read Carol's post HERE about this project.  Carol's also posted so eloquently about her first birthday without her mom, and in reading her post I felt a kinship with Carol in terms of finding comfort in knowing mom was whole again.  My mom lived with dementia for 11 years before her death.  It is a terrible disease.

Here is where this story gets a little embarrassing.  Carol sent this to me in MARCH.  Typically when someone gifts you something, you start stitching it right away.  At the time, however, I just could not do it.  It represented a lot of things I just wasn't ready to deal with.  We were also building a home and preparing to move.  I say that as an excuse but we all know, I could have stitched this quickly.  I just was not able.

I actually started this and got it mostly completed before we moved.  It was done except for one of my mothers initials.  This is the first home I have ever lived in that I will not have any memories of my parents.  They've always helped us move, paint, decorate, figure things out, make improvements etc.  I would have talked to my mom about the floor plan and furniture placement and decor.  Greg would have talked to my dad about things he saw during construction, how to take care of newly sodded grass, and all that kind of things.  

They are missed in many ways.

Saturday was the 20th anniversary of my mothers passing.  I took out this project and pulled out the one initial of moms that I had stitched.  It was too ghosty and I wanted her initial to STAND OUT.  So I stitched her initials, put my needle away and the project is waiting to be FFO'd.  In a weird way, Saturday was the right time to finish this little pillow.  I felt like mom was with me and we were chatting while I stitched.  So in an odd way, I do have a memory of mom here in this house.
I have already chosen another stitcher to pass this chart to who has also lost her mom.  I hope this helps her through her own grief journey, it her own time, as it has me.  Carol, I humbly thank you so much.  xoxo


diamondc said...

Jackie: I am sad this is such a touching story. I miss my parents so much, like you I have many memories of mom and dad helping build our first home.
Being a follower of Carol's I am sure she would not be hurt that you did not stitch it after receiving it.
When reading her post's you can tell she is a kind heart.
This is a lovely design.
I do have something similar to this design, please do not include me in the giveaway.
Have a beautiful Thanksgiving


Claudette497 said...

Your mother sounds lovely. I am so sorry for your loss.

Jocelyn is Canadian Needle Nana said...

What a tremendous couple your parents were. You have so many memories as do I of my parents. They are very much with us. Good luck with the move.

Marilyn said...

Many HUGS to you.
My Mom passed away 29 years ago, it feels like yesterday,
I miss her the most at Christmas.
Miss going to her house for dinner, she would have her Christmas earrings & apron & a pretty outfit on, with a big plate of cookies on the table.
You have to take all the time you need to grieve.
Always remember the good times.

Vickie said...

Oh dear Jackie. I can feel how much your dear heart is hurting. I am so sorry my friend. This is a lovely piece in honor of your sweet Mother. I am actually tearing up now. I am just so sorry. I have not lost my Mom yet. I dread that day. Take care dear Jackie. Big hugs for you.

Samplings from Spring Creek said...

My husband died May 14, 2020, my nephew died October 10, 2020, my cousin died January 31, 2021 and my Mother died May 5, 2021--there are not enough words to adequately describe grief

Robin in Virginia said...

What a beautiful piece you stitched in memory and honor of your mom. Sending you warm thoughts and gentle hugs.

Carol said...

I'm so glad the time felt right to stitch this in memory of your mom, Jackie. It's just so hard, isn't it? But, I think we were the lucky ones to have been blessed with such a great relationship with our moms. Not everyone can say that. The dementia your mom dealt with is so hard on the family. Having gone through it with my dad it was like witnessing a very slow, slow death. I know the next person to stitch this will be as touched as I was when it was passed on to me. And, Jackie--you are VERY WELCOME! Sending a big hug ♥

Shasta Matova said...

Wow that would be tough to lose two loved ones in the same year. My brother passed away in 2020 and it has been really tough. Take the time you need to grieve.

Barb said...

I know that was a hard year for you. My heart goes out to you. To lose one parent and then another almost at the same time is truly heart breaking. Your stitching just warms my and prayers to you